Hyderabad Calling...

And I am answering the call.

I never thought I would feel this way. Rounds and rounds of shopping done, lists made, planned and re-planned everything, empty shelves, bags packed,  clean room and my heart - filled with vacuum.

Amusingly, Most my bags are filled with "Blue" color. I don't know why I choose that color each time I shop. When someone asks me for my favorite color, I say "Black" or even "White" or "depends" but still I choose blue when given a choice!
And right now, I am Blue!

Cried like a baby when my mother talked about being an independent girl and taking care of myself in Hyderabad. I always wanted this life but my empty room makes me feel so depressed. Writing this post is another atrocious experience.

All final preparations have been done, Last calls from best friends and last messages from cousins have been wrapped up. But how should I wrap up this empty feeling?

Like I am running away from my responsibilities, Like I am losing something very near to me, Like I am being self centered and pursuing my dreams on cost of my duties. Duties of being my parent's kid, of being a friend, of being there for people who have always been there for me, of being a shoulder to cry on when mum had something to share!!
I love my mom, grandmother, my dad n even "my brother"!!

Why can't I stay at home? Why am I so aspirational?  Why can't I make a future in the city where I was born? Why am I doing this.... to myself and my near ones? Why is it so important to constantly keep running?

Anyways, my priorities are set, the choices are made, and I made them.
My parents supported me through out with this and I just can't thank them enough for believing me and my dreams. My mom has always been my support system and somewhere I want to live upto her expectations , thus the chase... thus the burning desire to be the best! I don't know how crucial this move is in to shape my future, how much I will be able 2 achieve out of it, how much worth it is of all the sacrifice..

All I know is, its now or never.
And I don't want to regret later for the choices I made.
Its not easy, well nothing is!
And I am going to give it my best shot.

So, adios to everyone! I may be busy there but gimme a call whenever you want to! I'll always be there!
Love You Guys!!

P.S: I'll especially miss you: Neha ! the long conversations on phone, the shopping, the coffee n the couches, your advice, n everything!!  I'll miss them all! Please stay in touch!! Love you...

Sleepless nights...

As 8th July, 2010 comes near, it creeps deep into me.... the FEAR! I don't know why? Its a strange feeling I have got. I have got through NIFT Masters of Fashion Management and on 8th July, I have my counselling. I will be alloted a centre on that day. I always wanted Bombay or Bangalore as my choice of centre and now when its completely in the hands of God, I am worried. Now that I dont believe Him but because I am asking for such alot of things together.

I researched about both the centres and every time, I come up to a different conclusion. I cant figure out which one is the right better option for me. I have now completely left it to the God but still it scares hell out of me.. I don't know why!

Another aspect of the story is that I have got my best friend from school  been admitted to the same course. Initially, I never thought that we could stay together in our post graduation but now when I know that our ranks are so close, I have the "greed" to stay together. I may not be admitting that to my family or any of the friends but I want to stay with her and I am praying hard for that. I want both of us to get the same city: Bombay or Bangalore! I am neutral among the choices as far as we stay together. I never thought that I would exploit my options because of a friend but I can't help it. I will do everything to be with her for the next two years of my life. I have been sleepless since nights due to this. I find it a little silly to take this here but I need to get it out of me as soon as possible.

I hope 8th July will hit soon and  we both get the same city. I don't  really care if I get Bombay or  Bangalore! I know the city(as long as it is Bombay or Bangalore) wont make a difference to the career I have always aspired for!

P.S. Its a completely random post throwing alot that has been inside me since a month.

Facebook Syndrome

What is the first thing you do when you switch on your laptop?

I login to my facebook account!!
 Am i addicted??       
Well, maybe!


I have been on facebook since 4-5 years and I have lived and breathed on Facebook.
From uploading photos and following random people to playing games and “liking” Chocolate Brownies, I have done it all.


There was a time when I would post 3-4 status a day.  From "Surbhi Jain is worried about the results" to "Surbhi Jain is on cloud 9!! woopie...." I shared my life on facebook. And even though it seemed to some of my friends that I had no qualms about sharing “everything” on Facebook, what they didn’t know was that they were part of a selected list that had access to “everything.”.
Yes, You have to have robust privacy settings once you are at a social networking site. 


It sometimes occured to me that why not just e-mail photos to those I wanted to share them with? Because not everyone who was my Facebook friend was in my address book. And everyone was on Facebook! 


While I enjoyed interacting with these folks on the social media platform, I didn’t have their e-mail address or phone numbers stored anywhere. Facebook made it easy for me— it reminded me of birthdays, let me drop them messages, reminded me of the events taking place,  allowed me to chat with them. 


How do I get in touch with them when Facebook dies?

I dont want it to end...

Our last exam happens to be on 24th May and after that, we are done with college!!

*sob sob*

I just received a message from Prerna (a college friend). She wrote something that actually made me cry!
I don't wanna lose it... I want go to college... Gimme three more years of life!!
Hell lot of things going through my mind....
Oh! I feel so nostalgic!

Here goes her message!

24th ko akhiri baar...
Aashia Mathur ki miss cal ayegi,
phir se surbhi late ho jayegi,
or PP par late hone ka ilzam lgayegi,
or motto to sabko wait arayegi,
Deepali Singh jane rohini east ya west se ayegi,
aur Apoorva Bhardwaj phir sabko daant lagayegi....

24th ko....
metro main masti hogi,
Aashia or surbhi metro card dhundati hongi,
lift ka wait karenge
aur rickshaw lene ke liye ladenge....

24th ko....
college k gate pe sweety khadi hogi,
PP ki citi piti gum hogi,
or Yukti Singhal to abhi ghar se hi nikli hogi....

24th ko....
classroom main entry hogi line se,
phir kahenge sab
kab aaoge tum rohini wale time pe,
phir masti, kuch yaadein, kuch hasi,
and bye....

phir ek dusre ko nasihat ki kal time pe aaye...
par 24th ko yeh nasihat nahi de payenge
kyunki 24th ko hum akhiri bar ayenge!

*sob sob*

I am so touched by this... Love you prerna!!
I am gonna miss each part of it !!
Love you guys!

Happy Birthday Payal :)

Happy 21, Three cheers to you girl, [my best friend!]

Technically, I know you since nine years. Same school we used to attend :-D
 But trust me, the last three years with you have been a total roller-coaster ride!

You are special, I don't need to tell you that; here are the reasons why..

You have put up with all the crap I made you go through..
You have been the shield that protected me from any evil..
You support me into anything I believe in..
You snap me back to reality incase I get too drifted...
and continue to be the friend I never had..

You trust me with your life..
I trust you with my deepest darkest..
We speak everyday till we hang-up..
You read me songs from your entire music collection just because I need something new..
You stay up all night to calm me down..

You talk to me when I am lonely..
You are perpetually around,
to catch me when I am just about to fall..
to make me laugh when I am on the verge of tears..
to make me realise that I deserve the best..
to genuinely take care of someone as unpredictable as me..

and most importantly
You are there when I need to shop
when I need some coffee
You are there to gimme all the "gossip"
You always drop me to the metro station ;)
And I miss you when you aren't online

So,

Happy Birthday Payal:-)

May you get all that you deserve ;-)

and may I be able to feel the same way for you, another 20 years down the line.

Love

Graduate!!

Soon I'll be a graduate...

I am contented but I am not happy!

I never realised that I love my college friends so much!  It seriously feels bad to let them go! Not all of my college days were fun-filled but the third year was "the best". It is just not sinking in…...

10th of March, 2010 was my last day of classes. I did not want to be late for this day. I woke up early and got ready as if it was my first day at college. I could feel butterflies in my stomach! Yes... I never wanted it to end... 

The assignments, 8:40 classes, projects, teachers... They never lured me to come to the college. But there was something that kept me going.  Friends!! They shed tears for me,shout at me,hit me,kick me,kiss me,molest me, make me feel good! I Love them... Love the truly!

So the day being the last day of classes, we celebrated "scribble day" wherein we wrote goodbye messages at each other's t-shirts. Yes.... It hurts! Every message I wrote provoked me to shed some tears. Thankfully, I managed not to cry. The class was full of activity. Everyone was busy saying goodbye, scribbling on t-shirts, singing, dancing and  playing around! No one cared for anything. No classes... No assignments... No pressures!! It was one of those perfect days!

And then came the FAREWELL....
It was touchy! I could feel it ending!! Yes... The end of the college days!! It hurts badly!! I never expected that I would feel so bad!! But I do!! Farewell party was awesome... Everything I could expect for!! And at the end, We were all up on the stage singing to the tunes of Purani jeans! I could feel my goosebumps... That was a moment when I could sense something in my eyes!! Alas! They were tears! I really wanted to shed those but I stopped myself! On a happy note. you guys made my day. Thank you :)

I am always gonna treasure those moments! The shopping... the parties.. the movies... bunking classes... canteen debates and discussions... crazy hugs... short attendance.. pet room... copying assignments... photo sessions.. missed tests... crackpot jokes! I am gonna miss you guys!!

This is the song which will always remind me of you guys...

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of that night in June

I didn't know much of love

But it came too soon

And there was me and you

And then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone

We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared

Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

As we go on

We remember

All the times we

Had together

And as our lives change

Come Whatever

We will still be

Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs

And we make the big money

When we look back now

Will our jokes still be funny?................

Mixed feelings sinking in... I have no clue about our next session of life, But I would be missing a lot of good friends and some real Different Chaps (Lol..)!!

Spirit of Holi

You are walking down a restless street of your city and suddenly, you find a water balloon crash against your unsuspecting skull. Bursts of water come in piercing torrents and it's hard to count the number of colours on your white kurta. Are you're still wondering what's happening? Well, for those of you who are still guessing, it sounds a lot like Holi! Yes, the festival of colours is here and no amount of skill in tactical warfare and ambush attacks will get you out of this. The streets are full of people smeared in a spectrum of colours and spotting familiar faces is almost impossible. This is how drastically the parameters of normalcy change on a normal Holi day in any part of India.

Holi is one of the most popular Hindu festival celebrated to mark the incoming spring season. The day is celebrated at the end of the winter season on the last full moon day of the lunar month also known as phalguna. Also known as Dolyatra or Basanta Utsab in West Bengal, Holi is one of India's most popular festivals. The main day, also known as Dhuleti, is the Holi we all know. The day is celebrated with people throwing coloured powder and water at each other as friends and family meet up.

The celebrations, however, start the night before when a huge bonfire is lit in memory young Prahlad and his miraculous escape when Holika is burnt to death.

Different regions in India have come to celebrate the festival in their own unique way but the spirit of the festival still remains the same. One of the most popular traditions of the festival is exchanging sweets. Get your near and dear ones some great delicacies from one of these sweet shops. There's a better chance of finding a fire cracker go off on Holi than finding a person not smeared in colour. With all those soiled clothes buying a few new ones from one of these garment stores won't be a bad idea. They also make for great gifts. Take your family and friends out to one of these restaurants.

Personally, I love Holi. I love the spirit.  The family time, friends, sweets, laughter and love... It all fascinates me! But this year, i'll try and celebrate holi in a natural way. It's kind of difficult for me but I'll try my best.

So get all your combat training together, if any, and brace yourself for this Holi this year on March 1...
Happy Holi!!

Bura na mano.. holi hai!!

I was headed out of my colony to the market and was discussing something intently with my friend when suddenly we hear a PHAT!! And another PHAT!!! And realized a couple of water balloons had been aimed by the kid next door. My friend's light grey top were splattered with coloured water. The kid immediately ran inside his house. We went and rang the door bell. Noone opened the door but his father came to the balcony and asked us what happened. So we told him that his son was throwing water balloons and it had narrowly missed us. And all he had to say was “Bura na mano holi hai. Yeh to hota hi hai. bachche to khelenge hi.”I asked him if I could slap him and get away with “Bura na mano holi hai”. He had nothing to say for that. I asked him what if his son threw a balloon on someone who is driving a car or riding a two-wheeler and caused an accident. His son isn’t a little kid anymore but is old enough to now understand this. We had to leave then because we were getting late.

I have also played holi as a kid and I still play. But it is only in my colony that I have seen people throwing balloons randomly at strangers and passers-by. I fail to understand what is the fun in this. I was a pretty naughty kid myself but had the sense not to throw it at random people. The one and only time I did something like this, it landed on my dad’s friend who was in his white shirt. I was lucky it only had water in it and not coloured water. My parents however, were anything but amused. I have seen kids here throw it on the delivery boys on their 2 wheelers or at drivers (including a few on a bus driver who was driving at that time) which can cause a serious accident. Don’t their parents ever think of that?

I don’t mean to be the criticize Holi but I don’t understand why it cannot b restricted to friends and families and not the passers by. I still don’t think that Holi gives anyone the license to misbehave. So people better celebrate Holi with their friends and family and not with the people who dont want to be a part of it!

Balance...

A lot of us complain of being in the middle. Having to multitask and having too many options to choose from, too much work and the desire to do none of it. The act of maintaining the equilibrium is a part of the human nature, and that how it should be. Observation leads to realization, which in turn evokes understanding. Thus, to understand your-own-self, one needs to observe their traits and how knowingly or un-knowingly they perform that balancing act.

Too much of everything is not good. Yes, it is a generalization, but if we extrapolate it to everything we do, it sure is relevant. Reminding myself of this line constantly helps me restrict my preferences.

Similarly, Too little of anything is never enough. Both these statements sound like they are poles apart, but in the deeper sense, they mean the very same; we just need to know when to stop, how to strike that balance. The key to frictionless survival is, yes, that balancing act.

Activities that usually tend to lose that balance.

Friends
Having too many friends might work for certain people, but somewhere don’t we tend to side-line the people who are really important to us? We are expected to trust so many more people, confide to all of them, update them with regular happenings of our life; just coz they do!!! It sure is complicated, and a little assistance never hurts, why you think the social networking sites are such a boom! Then having too little friends leaves us with practically no options and not too many people to share our opinions with. The only way out of this is,
Strike that balance.

Friendliness
Especially, when we meet some-one new; when we have no idea how to behave to neither be unfriendly, nor over-friendly. We meet endless “doods” who are way too annoying, call you “sweetheart” in the very first talk or crack such pathetic PJs that a tight slap would be the ideal reply. Then there is the other extreme, guys who are more interested in their toe-nails than in the conversation you are trying to make. Either they over-do the whole thing by hugging all possible people around, or end up sipping the epicenter of all their attention, their coffee! We either have to deal with it or
Strike that balance.

Food
Too much, :- ; too little :-
Then the balance between the constituents of the diet is another concept altogether. “Balanced diet”, is a cliché, and very correctly too! Yes, here a lot of us need to know before we try and
Strike that balance.

Faith (on god)
I am not saying that atheism or hard-core bhakti is wrong. Suit your own faith, but questioning the existence of god to the believer or expecting the almighty to be on our guard 24x7 is not done. Everyone has their own beliefs, sometimes depending on the way they are brought up. I belong to the class of people who believe in god and secretly want him to solve all problems. God helps me be carefree, gives me hope. It helps me because I think somewhere I manage to
Strike that balance.

Freedom
Be free, but not on anybody else’s cost. Express to be heard, not hurt. I strongly believe that freedom of thoughts is more crucial than freedom of speech, but then what is the use of having free thoughts if they are not expressed? A lot of thought has to be given to this before execution, thought that would probably help us to
Strike that balance

Blind Trust
Trust the trustworthy, but to what extent? We do need to analyze every situation and act accordingly, we need to
Strike that balance.

Talking
Too little gets us bottled, to much makes us talk non-sense. To voice opinions and also let others around you remain sane,
Strike that balance.

Smoking
I have nothing against them, smokers. But this one goes out to all human chimneys, please try and keep things in moderation, for your own good. Please
Strike that balance.

Competition
If it is healthy, all is good. But playing dirty games, trying to push the competitors down are matters that we dealt with in standard 4! And when it is not deserved, what good is that victory for? The call of the day is to
Strike that balance.

Luxuries
Need I say anything? Oh yea,
Strike that balance.

P.S. Nature has its own ways of balancing things, of getting even with man. But this is not what this post is about. General bachche ka general gyan showing off hai people! :-P

My support system!

another dedication post! This time on valentine’s day :-)

Dedicated to the 35 important and influencing people in my life

Important because they supported me when I could see no friendly face around;
Important because I can’t imagine my life without them
Important because I care about them, in the same way that they care about me.
Important because I love them and I know I don’t say it enough.

So here they are; the most influential and imperative set of people to me (in no particular order)

Mom: I love the way you trust me blindly. I am proud of you the way you are! I love you!

Payal kalra: You are one of the first people to know if I am upto anything. You are one person I wanna hold onto all my life for pep-talks. You always manage to show me sense in a directionless path and that makes you special. Whatever anyone might say, I can trust you with my life. And you give good advice at midnight. love you sweetoo!

Neha Gupta: Our friendship has last so long that I have now begun to feel its magnificence. 8 years? Eh? Thanks for being around gal, your friendship has been a sheer delight!

Neha Gupta(college): college would be different if you were not around. Keep in touch. Love you..

Deepali Singh: My guide through music and someone who continues to remind me that I have a long way to go in Guitar :-P

Pragati Joon :-) I don’t have enough words, but yea, you do come in this list :-) Thanks for being there when I needed you.

Preeti Rani: . You made keeping my time table at college really easy, Thank-you.

Baisil K Joseph: One of the sweetest guys I know. You are a gr8 friend!

Vikas Bhagat: Influencial? Ofcourse. My course instructor and philosopher n guide. I take this opportunity 2 thank you sir, for constantly pumping in the required energy in all of us. You are the best.

Ashish Sahijani: we used to go to school together. I was too small at that time but you were my best buddy that time! I miss you somewhere down my heart!

Akanksha: My friend all through CA-CPT. Please forgive me for not keeping in touch. Thinking of you will always bring a smile to my face.

Kanika Vij: You are a gr8 friend gal. I fondly remember all the fun times I had with you. I hope you feel the same way about me, tc!

Nishith Bahety: I am sure u’ll do well in life. Good luck!!

Deepali Gupta: Yea, Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart! If not in school, after school you are one of the people I fondly remember of childhood days.

Yukti Singhal: I ve probably not said that too many times, but yes, you matter to me. We have not spent ages together, thanks to the final year, but I value our friendship.

Apoorva Bhardwaj: your simplicity and strength is enviable. You were my first friend at the college. Love you..

Piyush Awasthi: You rock! But I am still waiting to see you perform. Ping me when you perform next time!

Priyanka Jain: As confused and directionless as me. I know we don’t talk much now a days, but there was a phase when I used to wait all day to talk to you in the evening. I don’t know how much it made a difference to you, but on me, it had a very different kind of impact. You are a special friend Pri! yes, my rock guru :-P

Aashia Mathur: metro helped us come close. I find you are the best one at the college! Keep in touch!

Surbhi Jain: One of my very good friends and definitely one person I am proud of. I am sorry if I have ever hurt you.

Vaishali Jain: you remind me of a question mark(oops!). but all I know is that you are very good at heart!

Shagun Taneja: motto, You are one of the friendliest people I have come across till date. I love your spirit gal. Keep rocking!

Neha bhardwaj:: All the advices and all the chatting. You are cute, and I like you just the way you are. No matter what, stay the same.

Swati Aggarwal: Aashia Mathur helped me know you well. A sweet down to earth girl! Take care!

Rishabh Thukral: I got to know you on the trekking trip! and well, it has been an absolute delight knowing you :-). [Yea, you don’t sing well :-P]

Suraj singhal: your commitment to work sometimes annoys me! All I can say is, keep in touch!

Pankit Narang: the gullible guy at school has grown up now! Its fun to be around with you and your jokes no more bore me!

Anshu sharawat: You are such a sweet heart! Helped us pass through 11th standard! Thanks a lot! I value your friendship!

Purti Soni: you are the coolest head girl I know. May you reach all heights. one friend I wanna treasure for life. A gem of a friend, definitely!

Paramjeet Rana: a rebellion. I could never make it up with you at school. But, now it seems to have changed! And Thanks for always keeping a seat for me at NGPA!

Jyoti Gupta: a kiddo! I am glad we made friends. Take good care and keep in touch!

Suman: haven’t spent a lot of time with you but your company seems to be doing good to me! All I can say is that stay honest, stay good!

Ritika gupta: You have been a friend, cute and smart little friend dear. Hope it stays that way. :-)

Prerna: stop doing the chichoragiri* after the college! Get back home early and study! Lol.. the other kidding is fine, but I am glad that we are such special kind of friends.

Simmi Bhasin: my maths teacher in 5th standard. I was too young to say that but I totally loved you ma’m. you always helped me to perform to my best capabilities. I miss you mam!

I can never include every-one who matters, but then these are the ones who are like life-support systems to me.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

My 3rd Year at College

Had thought that the year would be chill
Included in it would be all non-academic frill
The start has not been that good
Had more time to vile away, I wish I could

The number of classes are more than last year
Though of  exams, there is less fear
Yet the classes have been strategically staggered
I want all of them to get gathered

So that half my days are fully free
And I can be all up and glee
But the intentions of the administration seem otherwise
3rd year seems smaller brother of 2nd year in disguise

This is when I dont have any of those courses
Which to study, the subject forces
And still I don't understand where my time goes
Just hoping that someone lessens the dose...

Stay in touch!

Conversations... atleast the long ones... always leave me with the longing for more...

Being a little busy in past few days with my college internals and entrances, it gave me no time to stay in contact with any of my friends. It sounds awkward to me that I didn't even talk to my best friend for a long period of time and surprisingly, I didn’t even feel the need as it always does!

Needless to say that the realization of how few of those conversations I've had in the past few days really gives me a sinking feeling... of how it will be in the future, when all of us will get busier, trying to fight our way to our professional goals...
It all sounds good in books and movies that relationships are a thing of the heart, and they are never lost... blah blah blah... but in reality, it is essential to keep in touch...

So here's to all my friends... I hope we all stay in touch...
"Someone remembers, someone cares;
Your name is whispered in someone’s prayers."

Oh Scrap!!

Just a random idea to make a scrapbook about my college... people i met there! i love them all :)

For Neha....

on her birthday!!