I dont feel safe anymore...

Suddenly , the world which I live in is falling apart. People are dying from bomb blasts ,stampede, floods....... Terrosism has now become an everyday affair! Politicians are ruining our country! Common man can do nothing but complaint!!

So what is wrong with the world? I have no idea. Should I ignore all of this and be happy.Maybe, Yes! But ultimately, I will be affected too......

Sometimes, I feel scared to board the metro train. You can listen to the people talking about blasts and all that jazz. But nobody bothers to do anything.

Why dont the politicians understand? Why only the common man suffers?
Why we cannot be free?
Is this democracy?
Is this what we call Independence?

Awaiting Escape....

Those eyes.. eyes of the storming seas,
Your crown of thorns gashes deep through me.
My flaws flow ceaseless, through my brains,
my blood dissolves, breaks up within my veins.

Inhuman.... you clutch my back,
tightening vines around my neck.
Your hollow screams replicate through my soul,
My inaudible cries freezes the night so cold.

I bear your scars... being a woman of shame,
Unable to break out from this cruel unceasing game.
You jab me with ignorance, blistered me with words
Crowning me with disgrace, break me inwards.

Am I despicable for being me,
Unseen, unheard, hoping to be free?
Virago, why do you despise,
Blaming me, cursing me... Why do you chastise?

How do I escape from those burns,
Mangled flesh everywhere I turn?
Why do you press me against the wall,
Bang me in my bones, making me crawl?

My blood spills out like a perpectual stream,
Your hate I resist, unable to scream.
You can see me but not yourself,
You judge me like a swinger, put me on a shelf.

I detest your stand, detest your hate,
Yet you loudly exalt this as my fate!
You stipple my blood on your porcelain skin,
My grief becomes your pride! my declention fires your grin.

You trip me, drown me in the soil,
Snap me, combust me, mock my toil,
Rip me apart, bruise my soul,
While I weepingly await rescue that makes me whole.

Candyman....

Alright everybody come around
The Candy Man is here
Who can take sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with the chocolate
and a miracle or two

The Candy Man
Oh, the Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes it all so good.

Who can take a rainbow
Wrap it with a sigh
Soak it in the sun
and make it a groovy lemon pie

The Candy Man
Oh! The Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love.
And makesit all so good!

Oh, who can take tomorrow
Dip it in a dream
Sieve the sorrow
and collect up all the cream

The Candy Man
Oh, the Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes it all so good.

Earth hour 2010

Earth Hour is inviting individuals, communities, business and governments to switch off lights for one hour at 8:30pm on March 27, sending a powerful global message that we care enough about climate change to take action. The ethos of Earth Hour is simple – keep it open source, keep it hopeful, positive, uniting and empowering. It all starts in your local community. So come forward and join the movement!



PS: Show your support and add yourself to supporters map! Click on the widget to fill in your details. By signing up you are supporting Earth Hour's aim to reach more than one billion people in 1000 cities around the world in 2010.

Graduate!!

Soon I'll be a graduate...

I am contented but I am not happy!

I never realised that I love my college friends so much!  It seriously feels bad to let them go! Not all of my college days were fun-filled but the third year was "the best". It is just not sinking in…...

10th of March, 2010 was my last day of classes. I did not want to be late for this day. I woke up early and got ready as if it was my first day at college. I could feel butterflies in my stomach! Yes... I never wanted it to end... 

The assignments, 8:40 classes, projects, teachers... They never lured me to come to the college. But there was something that kept me going.  Friends!! They shed tears for me,shout at me,hit me,kick me,kiss me,molest me, make me feel good! I Love them... Love the truly!

So the day being the last day of classes, we celebrated "scribble day" wherein we wrote goodbye messages at each other's t-shirts. Yes.... It hurts! Every message I wrote provoked me to shed some tears. Thankfully, I managed not to cry. The class was full of activity. Everyone was busy saying goodbye, scribbling on t-shirts, singing, dancing and  playing around! No one cared for anything. No classes... No assignments... No pressures!! It was one of those perfect days!

And then came the FAREWELL....
It was touchy! I could feel it ending!! Yes... The end of the college days!! It hurts badly!! I never expected that I would feel so bad!! But I do!! Farewell party was awesome... Everything I could expect for!! And at the end, We were all up on the stage singing to the tunes of Purani jeans! I could feel my goosebumps... That was a moment when I could sense something in my eyes!! Alas! They were tears! I really wanted to shed those but I stopped myself! On a happy note. you guys made my day. Thank you :)

I am always gonna treasure those moments! The shopping... the parties.. the movies... bunking classes... canteen debates and discussions... crazy hugs... short attendance.. pet room... copying assignments... photo sessions.. missed tests... crackpot jokes! I am gonna miss you guys!!

This is the song which will always remind me of you guys...

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of that night in June

I didn't know much of love

But it came too soon

And there was me and you

And then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone

We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared

Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

As we go on

We remember

All the times we

Had together

And as our lives change

Come Whatever

We will still be

Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs

And we make the big money

When we look back now

Will our jokes still be funny?................

Mixed feelings sinking in... I have no clue about our next session of life, But I would be missing a lot of good friends and some real Different Chaps (Lol..)!!

Gone are those Early Mornings...

It's a foggy winter morning
The ones when I cannot imagine waking up at six
And dressing myself into a school uniform.
And yet I did the same
for ten to twelve years

With the sleepy eyes, a heavy head, palavering mum
A hot cup of milk waiting for me
Bag packed by amma and lunch made my mummy
Off to school in those foggy mornings!
O what fun it was! Hoards of students waiting at the bus stand
At six fifteen.. Those frigid mornings, papa standing beside me
making small jokes, pointing a cat here or there,
We dreamt big on those cold mornings, we still do.

And then the bus would come, and I would rush
Leaving him behind and jostling my way in the crowd
Once I am inside, wave him a smile again.
He would always wait a few minutes after I left
Lest I would jump back again for want of change,
Or a forgotten book,
Or with a frown say, 'no mood', I want to go back home
He would wait till he was sure I was safely on my way.

I would have lost my sleep by then.
And then get worried about the books
for forgetting them at home again.
We walked our way from the bus stand to school
and walked the way back, aashish and me.
After that running about the school campus,
I would finally slag up to the class.

Friends would give me a fond smile that said, 'Forgot again!'
I would scutter for a text book
And then Deepali or Nishtha or Garima would slide their text towards me
We would push and thrust the book on our sides and thus would start a game;
And giggle and talk in whispers till teacher said 'ssshhhhh'
Then after the lunch break, we would get rid of those maroon sweaters
Knot those on the shoulder or the waist
Or simply dump them on the bench and gossip about at length...

Gone are those early mornings of rush that I try to get hold of even now
Those were different winters, this is a different cold ...

Unconditional Love...

It happened a long time ago
When a dove met a crow
She used to coo, he crowed,
And soon they fell in love...

Mr. Crow took her out for dinner
And ordered the best of egg-crunch
Lady Dove gasped in incredulity
On seeing the death of some prospective chicks...

She would have nearly swooned
Had not Mr. Crow fluttered in delirium,
Made her sip some cool raspberry;
And call for a plate of cheese cupcakes.

With a gulp of the cool drink
Lady Dove accepted their odd takes
And while she nibbled on the cupcakes
As Mr. Crow ordered baked shrimp...

It happened a long time ago
That a crow met a dove
She cooed, He used to crow;
They never got out of love....

IPL is Here!!

I am not much of a cricket fan but the "glamourous IPL" fascinates me! And finally, IPL is here! The format of IPL is just too alluring to resist! So I make sure that I stick to television screen all through IPL season and be updated with every minute detail about IPL.

I always look for opening of such big tournaments. Be it Olympics, Commonwealth Games, World Cup Cricket or IPL. But today, IPL's opening was much of a disappointment. I still remember IPL Season-1's opening! It was such a spectacular event to watch out for. The acrobats, the laser show, the performers... They were awe-inspiring. I never expected such an opening from a place like India. No offences for India! But from a country with limited resources, One cannot expect an opening which can match itself with the standards of other big tournaments like Olympics. But IPL season-1 came off as a surprise to me. Kudos to Vijay Mallya and Lalit Modi!

But what happened this time??  I tuned in to "SetMax" sharp at 6pm. The opening started at 7pm. But my wait was not at all worth it! The opening was much of an award function. The ground had a stage in the middle. There were awesome performances by people like Ali Campbell, Deepika padukone, Bjorn and Pop legend Lionel Richie. But, the event did not look like opening of IPL! There were no acrobat shows, less of laser show, less of demonstrations... I could seriously sense the feel of award functions at the opening!

After the dissatisfactory opening event,  I was in for Kolkata Knight Riders! I support them whole heartedly(Partially because Shahrukh Khan is the owner). I am watching out for the match " Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Deccan Chargers". I hope they win today and even IPL season-3 :)

Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re!!

A splendiferous dream...

... and there he was. He slid next to me on the couch, wrap his arm around my waist and hugged me in an embrace. I could smell the whiff of his scent, a mix of sweat and cologne. It was so real I gasped, giggled and woke up.

A strange but beautiful dream. I want to go back to sleep now...

Just a Phase!!

I wish, I want, I dream,
Life to be in a certain way
And then comes a disappointment
Simply washes all my hopes away...

I fight, think positive, but then I deny
Raise my head; I want to fly
Reach that goal, show the world
My worth, my ability to reach that dream
Seen with open eyes and not on my bed curled

But why do I need to suffer?
Make it more difficult, all of the queer?
More struggle, tears as exam nears
More perseverance, biggest fears..
Just to reach that illusion I saw
As I dream
As I desire
As my bloody need!

Maybe coz God just wants it
to taste it a little more sweet
When I succeed, reach that aim
Not tarnish my dad’s fame
Be that daughter who did not give up
Despite that massive career blow-up..

I guess it’s just a phase
And 5 years later, I would laugh at my craze
To type all emotional turmoil on my blog
When I should just study and slog
But I feel better and you would agree
It helps, makes you feel better, free..

Endless questions...

Suddenly I am asking myself this question because it is that time of my life again.

That time when everybody has to decide what do they really want to do in life, where do they really want to go n blah blah blah.

Why can't I continue to live my life carelessly?
Why do I have to announce to the world what is it that I would like to do for the rest of my life?
Why can't I love one thing today and love another thing tomorrow?
Why do I have to be passionate about some thing today and love it forever and establish myself in one place?
Why do i need to do something for a long time before I start making some real money doing that thing?
Why haven't I found that one thing in life I would always want to hold on to?
How come clarity is an absolutely inexperienced phenomenon in my life?
Why my gameplan never works for me??
Why do I change and so fast?
Should I really go ahead and pursue something else which I think I want to do now?
Do I really want to do what I think I want to do?

Yes I know all the gyan already. You can still bring it on...its nice to see my questions move some people enough to give them the energy to leave me some comments.

Hopes...

To make an attempt we need motivation, Motivation comes from experience, for experience we need to experiment, to experiment we need to innovate, Innovation is a product of thought process and for that, we need to make an attempt. So, we are back to the first one, the circle of trying to attempt. If you are of the opinion that you are the master of this circle, think again; You might just be humoring yourself.

I used to think I am. But, I am not.

Survival needs constant attempt; for which I’m either too de-motivated or simply lost at majority times. At times when I do try,I fail. I then try to muster courage, and try several times, sometimes it gets done, some other times I lose interest and give up. How justified is it, I do not know and honestly, I’ve cannot just stop caring; It almost makes me asexual, non-productive by both feelings and ideas.

To deal with it is tricky for me, to care about it is saddening, to not care about it is the reason for failure. Yes!!

The ‘will’ is missing.

I thought just hanging on would help me figure ways out of it. But that is just waiting... waiting for calamity to strike.. for my inevitable end to set me free. So, I have to deal with it now, but how? That also needs to be self-figured out. It is almost like jumping in the sea with neither swimming skills nor a life-jacket. Sink, float, sink more, float some more; when you try to float, you sink; when you try to sink, you float. Suffocation, Derangement, Disorientation, Losing sanity, losing everything....

 Panic!

And then one breeze comes by and sweeps all despair beyond me, this one is called ‘Hope’, to survive, to clear well, to sail through. In the end, the real world is still two shores away and I am busy building my own fresh new world.

I don't belong here...

It smells a little different here
not like it did when I left
the freshness is no more in the air
Now it is stale, almost suffocating.

Furniture has been moved, I notice
The lock to the main-door has changed,
CAT material and handouts have replaced
the cabinet that held my belongings.

Can't figure out the keys
Neither the switches to fans or lights
There are charts on the wall that did not exist
New frames that I have never seen before.

My room looks familiar though
Nothing has been touched since ten months ago
Still somehow I feel like i'm sleeping on someone else's bed
Hogging on to someone's space.

This someone else is me, I was back then
Carefree, , Thoughtless, Easy, untroubled.
Someone that I have become now
Nomadic, Over-Planned, Measured, Mystery!

Both are strangers to each other.
She belonged, I don't feel the strings attached,
She just spoke, never thought,
I think and sometimes, never speak;
She flew, she wrote, she laughed a lot
She trusted, I don't;
She loved, I won't.

It's almost like I don't belong here;
I hate to admit but I'm jealous of her
Not very long ago, she was me
And now, I am someone I don't want to be...