I had a home...

Once

I had a home

just like you…

a spouse

kids

and a family

 to care for.

Once

I had a home

where we celebrated

birthdays

anniversaries

dinners

and Diwali.

Once

I had a home

that kept us

from Nature

A space

we called our own.

Once

I had a home

Not only the walls

but an adoring

fostering space.

Once

I had a home

and I had

my stories to share

a life to look

forward to.

Once

I had a home 

just like yours…

There are millions of people who were like you and me at some point of their lives, forced onto the streets because of poverty, mental disorders, lack of employment opportunities, war, and lack of affordable housing. These were people with regular lives, a name, a family, an identity. Now they just roam about the streets with no name and identity  with a bag full of memories.

Imperfect Me

I love

procrastinating things

even if they are

a piece of cake

And I can argue

until the moon

goes to bed.

I hate doing

laundry

and I am

never interested in

keeping

my things organized.

I am judgmental

and opinionated

and you've seen

me being a

back seat driver

sometimes.

I love my own

privacy

and want you

too to enjoy that.

I am ambitious

and have a strong

sense of dignity.

I may not

be lady-like

in poses

and idiosyncrasies.

I nag at times

And love to complain.

I am obsessed

with planning

and usually have

alternate plans

ready

in case

some plan fails.

I am sometimes

egoistic

and clingy

at the

same time.

I hate

losing my games

and may not mind

cheating.

I am not patient

or wise

and I may play

a loser sometimes.

I keep grudges

and it's always tough

for me

to let it go

even when I know

I should.

I am strongly opinionated

and will not

like being treated

with the perks

that comes with

"being a woman."

I am always

confused

about where

I want to be

and what

I want to do.

I lie at times

When I think it's a

fair thing

and also sometimes

because it gets "easier".

I give justification

 for small things

where it doesn't call for

but still I have the

urge to.

I acknowledge

my "flaws"

and know that

perfection is

a misconception

a mirage

a unrealizable

paragon.

It doesn't mean

I don't try to

be a better person,

more liberal

less critical

more welcoming

less malign.

I never said

that I wont try

to improve

upon my shortcomings.

All it means

is agnizing

that perfection

isn't the criterion

by which

we judge

ourselves or

others.

I may not be perfect.

But my flaws

make me the

unparalleled person

I am.

They make me

real me

and not the one

I want to be

I am not perfect.

Are you?

Life's Beauty Revealed

A wood pecker on a tree;

A spider’s web; a humming bee;

Flocks of birds surging high;

How the seasons say good-bye;

The rising sun in the east,

How eagle snaffles its feast;

The full moon when slowly wanes,

The smell of the earth when it rains;

Stars that shine all through the dark ;

Snails crawling around in a park ;

A kitty’s whir; a sparrow’s chirp;

Ever heard the mice slurp?

Butterflies wooing the flowers;

Cows jawing the wad for hours;

The whickering of a grazing horse;

Walls covered by a carpet of moss;

An ant stocking a grain of wheat,

Droplets sparkling like little beads;

Water that makes its own course;

A rabbit jerking its pink nose;

Wind blowing away the pollen;

Ever noticed the rabbit warren?

Man walks on the road of strife,

For him, work is life!

But stay for a moment to look around

the treasure of beauty… Oh! See around!

And you’ll cherish these moments for a long time,

These gifts of nature are the prime.

The work may be devastatingly absorbing,

But, these are the things that make our lives worth living!

My perspective

Although it may seem, a lot of times, that there is nothing new to add to something,  I think each of us bring a new perspective, new persuasion, new theme from a unique viewpoint.

I’ve wondered many times why anyone would want to read what I have to say – after all, it’s all been catalogued before by someone more learned, someone who’s proficient on the topic or has researched similar topic in depth, someone who has more wisdom and experience. And all this “better” content is reachable to anyone who wants to Google it.

So, why then, do readers visit this blog? Why do I spend my time and energy writing whatever comes to my mind? And I have reached the conclusion that it’s because I have something meaningful to add. Maybe the central idea has already been presented before, but I bring in my unique perspective.

The person I am today is a sum total of my experiences and that started from my birth itself. If I wasn’t born to middle-class parents; if I wasn’t their pampered child; if they hadn’t sent me to one of the best schools in the city; if I wasn’t encouraged and supported to believe in myself – the scenarios are endless. Every step of this way, I have had experiences, got opportunities, formed relationships that helped me evolve as an individual and shape a certain vantage point. That is what I share with you.

I, therefore, have something to add to what has already been said.

My own words “matter” because they’re pertinent, they present a different take that is mine, and a lot of “average” people can relate with them.
These aren’t just echoes in a shriveling chamber — this is my original voice in a fast-expanding, interconnected, heterogeneous online world.
I have a story to tell that no one, other than me, can tell.

Longing for tomorrow....!

An entire day passed by
in a windstorm of activity.
Projects, phone calls, e-mails,
conversations and IMs.
Non-stop exchange of information.
Reactions. Joyfulness. Emotions.
Call for a pause button deepens .
No respite from the craziness.

As I splatter my face with water
I close my eyes and let my mind wander.
The chirping sparrow reappears.
And flocks of bird surge high

As I scrub my face,
It brushes of the tiredness.
The assignments. The deadlines. The pressure.
Into the passage they sink.
Disappearing like rings of smoke..

I then look at myself.
A streak of red
Brightening the tired kohl eyes.
A tingling smile.
That Today is over.
Tomorrow will be another day.

Return

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I love spending a lot of time with toddlers because it allows me to experience unabridged, unsophisticated, unrestrained joy. Their playful eyes and their creaks of glee reminds me of all I have lost in my journey.

They are right at the precipice of knowing things — the kind that we can understand — but despite their verbal “handicap”, they’re pretty good at communicating. They go around in circles when they are happy, cry when in pain or when they seek attention or to get things their way and squeal when in surprise.

They live for the moment.

It’s almost like attending a free therapy when I’m with these kids. They know how to live their life king size. And they offer their “wisdom” to anyone willing to share. 

Raising them is no easy task. It’s difficult to gaze in admiration when you’re cleaning poop. But as an outsider, I am thankful. They teach me to have an open mind that anything is possible to be free; to ask question; to get amazed at the simplest of the things; and most importantly, to be me.

They help me peel away the layers of worldliness, knowledge, and debonair and enjoy the rawness of the human spirit.

To experience happiness in its purest form.

To feel filled within.

I’ll probably feel a speck of sadness when these children grow up with time, but for now I shall  make the most of their wonder years and enjoy my return to the age of innocence.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Hyderabad to me...

Well, I am in South India. Not for the first time though, but definitely the first time for more than 2 weeks and with another year and a half lined up. 
So this is it, Welcome to Hyderabad!

With my upbringing in Delhi, I have had quite an assortment of food! But since 15 days, my every meal at the mess includes Rasam or Sambhar! 

Food the way I’ve never seen before
Vegetables that I don’t identify
Curry leaves in everything
Rasam everywhere
No ‘daal’ in the daal
LONG queue for bath and longer for lunch

To top it all, Long hours of classes! Wait... I asked for college life, not school life!
 My life is suddenly going into a routine! What's happening? Waking up at 8 in the morning is the only sad part of my stay so far. I can still manage with the food but not sleep :P
The TV doesn't have a remote. Common..Who can enjoy TV without a remote. If you want to change, You need to get up and change the channel. So it keeps on playing telegu stuff and I don’t even cross that corridor. 
My room-mate’s possibly the best I could ever have! She is my best friend, so it’s like having someone from back-home live with me :-) 
Very few guys in the college(Hot guys are scarce) but I made some good amount of friends.So, life doesn’t actually suck :P Its actually cool to live at the hostel. Its so much fun here. You stay in a party mood 24*7 staying at the hostel. 


Hyderabad's language is funny. I’m not talking about telegu, any south Indian language is the same for me; Here, I talk about the hyderabadi hindi :-| Oh, you’ve gotta hear it to know what I’m talking about. Sometimes, I feel that I don't even know Hindi for that matter.

Ok. This is different from the place I grew up.
Very different.... actually!
But I am sure that life has a lot in store for me here

I liked the faculty though. Classes get boring because I don't sleep well at night ;)
Even seniors have been good so far. 
Ahem. So well, you get the hang of it, don’t you? 
Somethings suck big time here but then the amount of fun I am having can compensate for that. I am loving every part of it here. And surprisingly, I don't miss Delhi :)

I will not be able to write often now.Nift is keeping me alot busier. It's gets a little difficult to sit and write something with such amount of activity going around you. 

Hyderabad Calling...

And I am answering the call.

I never thought I would feel this way. Rounds and rounds of shopping done, lists made, planned and re-planned everything, empty shelves, bags packed,  clean room and my heart - filled with vacuum.

Amusingly, Most my bags are filled with "Blue" color. I don't know why I choose that color each time I shop. When someone asks me for my favorite color, I say "Black" or even "White" or "depends" but still I choose blue when given a choice!
And right now, I am Blue!

Cried like a baby when my mother talked about being an independent girl and taking care of myself in Hyderabad. I always wanted this life but my empty room makes me feel so depressed. Writing this post is another atrocious experience.

All final preparations have been done, Last calls from best friends and last messages from cousins have been wrapped up. But how should I wrap up this empty feeling?

Like I am running away from my responsibilities, Like I am losing something very near to me, Like I am being self centered and pursuing my dreams on cost of my duties. Duties of being my parent's kid, of being a friend, of being there for people who have always been there for me, of being a shoulder to cry on when mum had something to share!!
I love my mom, grandmother, my dad n even "my brother"!!

Why can't I stay at home? Why am I so aspirational?  Why can't I make a future in the city where I was born? Why am I doing this.... to myself and my near ones? Why is it so important to constantly keep running?

Anyways, my priorities are set, the choices are made, and I made them.
My parents supported me through out with this and I just can't thank them enough for believing me and my dreams. My mom has always been my support system and somewhere I want to live upto her expectations , thus the chase... thus the burning desire to be the best! I don't know how crucial this move is in to shape my future, how much I will be able 2 achieve out of it, how much worth it is of all the sacrifice..

All I know is, its now or never.
And I don't want to regret later for the choices I made.
Its not easy, well nothing is!
And I am going to give it my best shot.

So, adios to everyone! I may be busy there but gimme a call whenever you want to! I'll always be there!
Love You Guys!!

P.S: I'll especially miss you: Neha ! the long conversations on phone, the shopping, the coffee n the couches, your advice, n everything!!  I'll miss them all! Please stay in touch!! Love you...